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5 Things You Learn Going Through a Divorce

Divorce is a difficult experience for everyone. But, there are positives that can come out of the end of a marriage. In today’s blog post, we share five important lessons you’ll learn through the divorce process.

1. How to Mourn

Many find the end of a marriage feels similar to experiencing a loved one’s death. It is a life-changing and challenging experience. Significant changes, like a death or divorce, requires mourning. Grief is a fundamental human emotion. The effect of loss can be shocking, and it involves a process of mourning or grieving.

Here are four tips to help you through the mourning process:

1. Avoid Comprising. Don’t compare your mourning process to others. Each of us grieves in our unique way.
2. Allow Yourself Time to Grieve. Don’t minimize your emotions. Instead, embrace your grief and work through it.
3. Mourning Is an Individual Process. What works for someone else may not work for you. Pay attention to your emotions and try not to compare your experience with someone else’s.
4. There Is No Timetable for Mourning. Mourning can be a long process. Don’t rush the process, and be patient with yourself.

2. How to Overcome the Feeling of Failure

The end of a marriage can often feel like a failure; it is not. Life is full of ups and downs. And we change throughout our lifetime. Sometimes changes bring us closer to our spouse, and sometimes they pull us apart. If you’re going through a divorce and the feeling of failure keeps creeping into your mind, remember these three things:

1. It Takes Two. One person cannot be responsible for a marriage’s success or failure.
2. People Change. What once was a perfect match can change as two people grow over time. Growth and change are good, even if it means you grow apart from your spouse.
3. You Are More Than Your Marriage. Your identity should not rely on your spouse or marriage. There is so much more to you!

3. How to Cope

There’s no right or wrong way to cope. Use this time to dig deep, get to know yourself, and follow your heart. Discover what makes you happy, what brings you joy, and comforts you. The end of a marriage can be a new beginning if you embrace your emotions and find your way to cope with difficult times. You might be surprised at what you learn about yourself.

Here are five tips to help with your coping process:

1. Be Open to Therapy. The right therapist can help you identify coping strategies and self-care activities.
2. Be Kind to Yourself. Avoid negative self-talk and be kind and forgiving to yourself.
3. Let Go of Anger. Being angry only hurts you. You may have every reason to be angry, but those negative feelings will prolong a negative experience.
4. Find Joy in a Life Separate From Your Spouse. Pick up a new hobby or learn a new skill. While there is much sadness during divorce, there can also be growth and joy.
5. Don’t Go It Alone. You have friends and family who love you. Don’t be afraid to lean on them for support. If you don’t have anyone you can count on, join a support group. Many men and women have and are going through the end of a marriage.

4. How to Communicate

Communication is essential when it comes to going through a divorce with children. While the marriage may be ending, your responsibilities as parents are not. Learning to co-parent with your ex may be challenging, but it is imperative to raise healthy and happy kids. If you don’t have kids, communication is still critical. The better you communicate with your future ex, the faster and less painful the divorce will be.

Here are three tips to follow:

1. Set Boundaries. Even if you are going through an amicable divorce, it is imperative to set clear boundaries from the start. You’ve likely been communicating as a couple for years. This change will be difficult, but setting boundaries early on in divorce helps everyone.
2. Stay Focused. It is easy to fall into the habit of arguing about every little thing. However, arguing over every little thing will only prolong a difficult situation and cause more stress and hardship than it’s worth.
3. Use Mediation. Don’t be afraid to bring in a qualified, professional third party. Mediation is an excellent resource when communication has become difficult.

5. Life Goes On

No matter what happens to us in our lifetime, life continues to go on. Don’t get stuck in the past, and let go of things that are no longer benefiting your life. There is life after divorce; it’s up to you to start living it!

With over 30 years of combined experience, Jason Brodie Esq. and Joshua Friedman Esq. will guide you toward realistic goals and provide committed advocacy toward achieving them. They are known throughout South Florida for dedicated client service, tenacity, and success in complex divorce litigation involving property division, child custody, and spousal support. 

To get a better understanding of the qualities our reputation is built on, contact our office in Boca Raton to schedule your initial phone consultation (561) 392-5100